The Anthem · Easter Egg
Soak It Up
A funk anthem for probe-driven irrigation
In the spirit of Uptown Funk meets 24K Magic · Written for TurfPulse by a regular guy who probes his own dirt
🎵 This song is now Track 03 of the TurfPulse Songbook · view all 5 songs →
Listen
Track lands here once it's mastered.
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🎚 Track Specs
- Tempo
- 112 BPM
- Key
- D minor (modulates up to E minor on the final chorus)
- Time
- 4/4, swung 16ths on the hat
- Vibe
- Bruno Mars × Mark Ronson — strut, swagger, finger-snap groove
- Length
- ~3:20
🎬 Production Map
🥁 Kit
Linn LM-1 snare (gated, hard) · TR-808 kick · live tambourine on 2 & 4
🎸 Bass
Slap bass — root + octave + ghost notes, locked to kick
🎹 Keys
Clavinet (verse) · Rhodes pad (pre-chorus) · synth brass stabs (chorus)
🎺 Horns
Trumpet + tenor sax + trombone — tight 3-part hits on the "1"
🪘 Perc
Cowbell every 4 bars · congas under the bridge
🎤 Vox
Lead in chest voice (D3-A4) · falsetto answer in the hook · gang "HEY!" backings
🎤 Lyrics & Chords
Intro · spoken
4-bar drum break + horn fanfare"Hah! Listen — your lawn been lyin' to you, baby."
"But the dirt? The dirt don't lie."
"TurfPulse… let's go."
Verse 1
| Dm9 | Dm9 | Gm7 | A7♯9 | | Dm9 | Dm9 | Bb13 A7 | Dm9 |Sun comin' up, you grabbin' that hose 🌅
Spray a little here, spray wherever it goes
Neighbor on the left got a yellow patch
Neighbor on the right got a water bill — catch!
You been guessin', you been stressin', readin' the grass
Three bucks a gallon and it's leakin' through fast
But I got a little secret, lemme pull you aside —
Three little probes and the truth's inside.
Pre-Chorus
| Bbmaj7 | C9 | Dm7 | Em7♭5 A7 |One in the dry, one in the mean,
One in the wet — uh! — keep that data clean
Hub on the wall got a Rachio kiss
Soil say "go," and we don't miss…
Chorus 🎺
| Dm9 | Dm9 | Gm7 | A7♯9 | | Dm9 | Dm9 | Bb13 A7 | Dm9 |Soak it up! (soak it up!)
Let the dirt do the talkin', baby —
Soak it up! (soak it up!)
TurfPulse got me feelin' immortal, lately!
No more guess, no more spray, no more flood —
Just the data, just the green, just the good!
(Hey!) Hey, hey — soak it up!
(Hey!) Hey, hey — TurfPulse, what!
Verse 2
(same groove)Two-eighty a month on a sprinkler that's blind?
Sippin' on margins while you losin' your mind
Round Rock rebate? I filed mine.
Got a hundred fifty back and a smile on time
Bermuda lookin' lush, dollar spot? — declined ✋
Smith-Kerns model keepin' fungus offline
Twelve percent floor and the TAMU stamp —
Texas heat ain't breakin' this camp.
Pre-Chorus (reprise)
| Bbmaj7 | C9 | Dm7 | Em7♭5 A7 |CH1, CH2, CH3 (yeah!)
Buried in the ground like a dynasty
Dewpoint stuck and the wind is right —
Spray window open, baby — let's ignite!
Chorus
(repeat)(see chorus above — full band, gang vox)
Bridge 🎸
| Fmaj9 | Em7 | Dm9 | Gm7 C9 | (half-time, wah guitar)Mmm — let me tell ya somethin'…
Rachio's the bridge — (yeah, yeah)
But TurfPulse the brain — (c'mon, c'mon)
You don't need a green thumb,
Just a probe in the rain — (woo!)
Inner Circle in the cut, crest on the chest 🛡️
Fifty bucks a year and we built the rest
No bots, no fluff, no salesman pitch —
Just a regular guy with a regular itch.
Final Chorus · UP A STEP into Em9
| Em9 | Em9 | Am7 | B7♯9 | (key lift)SOAK IT UP! (soak it up!)
Let the dirt do the talkin', baby —
SOAK IT UP! (soak it up!)
TURFPULSE GOT ME FEELIN' IMMORTAL, LATELY!
(Hey!) No more brown — (Hey!) no more drown —
(Hey!) Just the greenest yard in the whole damn town!
Soak it up — TurfPulse, WHAT!
Outro
(cowbell + tambourine fade · last horn stab on beat 1)"That's the sound of a lawn that knows what it's doin', baby…"
"…TurfPulse. We don't guess. We measure."
Built by Derwin · The only lawn-care SaaS with a theme song · 🛡️ Inner Circle
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